3’s a Crowd: How to Play The Field

3’s a Crowd: How to Play The Field

Make him some cookies or his favorite meal. You don’t have to quilt or knit to be crafty and creative. Give not only when their birthday or Christmas rolls around, but also when they least expect it. This sort of thing really shows you care and will make them even more likely to appreciate the gift. We all expect recognition on our birthdays, but how about every day that falls in a rough week he’s having? I will never forget the day that I was rejected from a job opportunity that I wanted so badly. I went to work feeling bad for myself but this soon changed when my boyfriend surprised me by sending flowers. It totally made my day. Remind him that you care about him enough to put some effort into your gifts. Your relationship will shine for it! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!adultfrienfider Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: photo credit: mohammadali via photopin cc Many women sit and wait for men online to send the first email. Learn why this is a huge mistake… Countless women I have worked with over the years have taken a passive approach to online dating.  As opposed to performing searches and attempting to attract the type of men that they deem worthwhile, they sit back and wait for the results to come their way. While this may seem more “traditional,” it is actually a big mistake. In fact, taking this approach to online dating will often result in less than stellar results, and sometimes even result in women spending years longer on dating sites.  Let’s take a moment to understand why this is the case. The highest quality men are extremely busy Most women want a man who works hard, is educated, and has a lot of interests. This makes for a great partner.  But guess what?  Men who work hard and have a lot of interests, are often very busy living their lives out their in the real world, not on the computer.

The time they have to sit down to search for matches is limited. While you are waiting for them to find you, they have been out living their lives.  Circumvent this problem by initiating the first email online. The highest quality men receive insane amounts of attention High quality men in the online world are tremendously sought after.  They receive requests from multiple women on a daily basis to hang out. This raises the question, why would they perform searches of their own if they are receiving emails regardless of whether or not they put in the extra work? The answer to this question is that most don’t.  They focus a lot on the messages that come their way and very rarely take a pro-active approach.  So don’t sit around and wait for men to find you, because if they are quality, they may not even be looking. The highest quality men desperately want to meet an incredible woman You are smart.  You are fun.

  You are beautiful. The quality men out there are just dying to have a woman like you come along, and show them that online dating isn’t filled with women who barely make them raise an eyebrow. The problem is, many of them don’t realize you are out there! If you are awesome, get the man’s attention while making him see it with a great photo gallery, a witty email, and well-written profile.   Because if you don’t, somebody else will! For more information from Joshua Pompey, including how to write the first message online, learn more now by clicking here.  Or find out why my profile writing service has a success rate of over 99% since 2009.  Get started now. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook11Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Tagged in: Dating, how to write the first email, how to write 1st email online, Online Dating, online dating advice, online dating tips, online dating writing emails, writing emails, writing first emails MissC had written about her speed dating experiences not too long ago.

  It’s something that I’ve been trying to do for a while now but for some reason or other it’s just never happened.  Speed dating was quite the fad and wildly popular around these parts not so long ago.  While this dating mechanism isn’t as popular as it once was, it still draws in a large number of people and there are a number of organizations that still put speed dating events together.  That said, I’m attending one today… How does one prepare for the occassion?Well, I’m not entirely sure how one prepares, but in talking with my partner in crime, Mr.https://topadultreview.com/

Speaking to Elephants: Three Questions to Help You Identify ‘The One’ From All the Other Ones

Smythe he thought best to think of some questions to ask: Are you a Republican? Do you have sex on the first date? Do you mind guest stars in bed? After a few more of these I felt the need to think of other ways to prepare.  I came up with the following points of preparedness: Know the code – The dress code, that is.  Dress appropriately for the occasion.  Don’t be this guy.

Avoid the following apparel: Singlets, Onesies, the Mankini, 90% nudity, overly flowy/baggy clothes, apparel that has inappropriate phrases printed on it. Have some questions in mind – Sure, the questions posed above are pretty bad ones to ask, unless you like getting slapped in the face. Think about what’s important to you and what you want in a person and ask questions to determine if your speed date possesses those traits.  Ask them if they are active, if they like movies or reading or kicking puppies.  Have five to ten questions listed out. Know the rules – Speed dating is set up to be a convenient sort of venue, but also one that allows for some level of anonymity.  That is, many times speed dating events provide a method, after the event, to let daters know if any of their dates found them interesting.  Sometimes it is poor form to ask for contact information at the venue of your speed date experience. You will get one chance to make a first impression, not eight – Sure, you’ve got multiple dates lined up, but don’t be a weirdo or a creeper. Just be yourself… that is, unless you’re a weirdo or a creeper. In any case, I expect that this really is going to be a fun event based off of what Miss C. had to say about the whole thing. I just have to refrain from telling stories of my weird sensibilities and also refrain from doing my Beavis and Butthead impersonations and I should be fine… In theory. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Date Ideas, Dating & Relationships Tagged in: Dating, speed dating It’s no surprise, but OkCupid is my preferred site of choice, just nudging out How About We. Both services are great. OkCupid is free, though and remains a quality service. Over the last several months they rolled out a new “profile booster” feature. Seems simple enough. You pay them a couple bucks, you can get to the “head of the line” when folks are searching profiles. Meaning your profile is more likely to bubble to the top. Interesting? A bit.

Desperate? Well, one could make an argument for either. Fuck it. I’m going to try this shit and let you know what’s what with it. So what are we doing here? Have a look at that poor sap up there. What a goon! We’re trying to see if sliding a couple bucks to the digital meat-market, known as OkCupid, would help visibility and ultimately get me a date.

I’m not bragging here, but I do okay where it comes to getting attention on my profile. Certainly, I don’t know what is considered to be a “good” figure on OkCupid, so I’m just going to assume my number is ‘par-for-the-course.’ That is, I’m average and my number without the boost is about 150 to 170 on a daily basis. I’m guessing that a boost would double or quadruple that figure in a far shorter amount of time. The value the following is that more attention may equal more connection and more dates. That’s a sound assumption, no? Aaaand what happened next? So I forked over two bucks for 15 minutes of getting boosted. Additionally 10.99 and 5.99 options, for greater sustained boosts. So more stuff for more money and not anything additional… yawn. Once my payment was received and processed OkCupid got to work and started showing me stats live of folks that had visited and “seen” my profile.

Meaning that they saw my face in search results and, again, that potentially makes me a more clickable target. OkBoost! Does it actually work? I haven’t the foggiest, I see numbers and I see shit. The number of folks that saw me ended up around 1646, or an increase of 900%… Again, yawn. I suppose if I was a little more dashing in my appearance that might have drawn more interest. As it stood, I got five visits, one like and one message. For two bucks is it worth it? I guess it depends. I could see this offering being more compelling, if you’re just tired of sifting through profiles, or are just too damn lazy to search around online ( in that case, what the fuck are you doing on an online dating site, putz?). In every case, I’m not sure that this really is something I’m inclined to try again. The low cost to try it is, by itself, compelling; so I imagine OkC makes a few pennies on their boost feature Is it desperate? Nah. I don’t think so. I think it’s among those things that’s easy to do and further put yourself nowadays, without any hassle. I’d recommend giving it a go and see how your results vary.

It certainly couldn’t hurt. Have you guys tried OkCupid’s profile booster? How did it work for you? Tell us below in the comments.

Talking Sports With Men.

  Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Online Dating, Opinion Tagged in: okcupid I’m looking at porn in this picture. Clearly. Yep, you heard right.  A 30 Day blogging challenge. Yep. I said it. This effing blog has been long stagnant with respect to content that erupts from my finger tips. It’s true and I can admit it.You might have some concerns about this challenge.

And fortunately, for you, I’m here to answer them. But Alex, you hardly ever write. Aren’t you afraid of writing something stupid – Joe, Poughkeepsie, IL Joe, eat a bag shit! Alex, people do this shit all that time. Get a life. Moron – Anon You’re right and no, I don’t want to get a life. It’s dating. How much is there to write about? – Lucy L. LBC Lucy, I’m able to write about anything from Rim Jobs, to threesomes with amputees. Ain’t nothin’ off the table As you can see, I’m able to write. But having more topics to go on about obviously helps. So if you have a topic you’d like to see written about, let me know in the comments below. Also, if you would like keep track of this #30dayblogchallenge, you can see the challenge archives here Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Featured Tagged in: 30dayblogchallenge Jon Lajoie taught us the most important equation.

Ever! 2 + 2 = Vagina The other night I was sitting around with some of my girlfriends having dinner. As always, we were catching each other up on our personal lives or lack thereof. We have all been friends since we were teenagers, and are essentially sisters at this point. There is nothing we will not discuss. Naturally, the conversation turned to sex (yes guys, we discuss this too- probably more than you do), when the topic of how many partners we have had came up. Juliette, one of my more…well, let’s say, experienced friends was the first to answer. “I have only had sex with 8 guys.” She says, rolling her eyes back and to the right as though she is trying to recall the lot from her memory. “That isn’t so many.” She said, as she shrugged her shoulders. We all furrowed our brows a bit. I cocked my head and watched Juliette speak as visions of her on stage in Cancun during a spring break bikini contest, and another of her doing a keg stand one summer in the Hamptons being held upside down by 6 guys, danced through my head.

In all of those situations, let’s just say she didn’t return until the following morning. Wearing her clothes from the night before. Juliette was always the girl to disappear into the master bedroom at high school parties, and well, let’s just say…we all knew her number was higher than 8. One of my friends let out a belly laugh. “Eight??? Come on.” “Maybe eight this week?” Another chimed in. All in good fun. “Are you remembering to factor in the Bartender from Righty’s?” I asked, unsure of how she missed any particular one. She made me stalk him with her for nearly 6 months. “No. He doesn’t count.” “Um…Juliette, just wondering…why didn’t he count?” “Because he never called me again. It was a one night stand.” Crickets. There you have it. Juliette was doing sex math. Every person does it. a weighting system, if you will, as to what actually counts as sex and what does not. Everyone’s formula is different. Even our own President had his formula when he uttered the words, “ I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” Going on to claim he didn’t know how to define sex. Of course, his sex math was based not so much on lying to himself, but lying to the nation to save his own ass. It’s similar to the “calories don’t count if you only lick the spoon” philosophy.

It’s about helping yourself get through whatever pain or discomfort you have when faced with your own choices. This wasn’t the first time I had heard someone do convenient sex math. One friend told me one guy didn’t count because he wasn’t able to finish, one guy told me a girl didn’t count because he really liked her roommate (Ouch). Whether you are playing “Just The Tip” like Vince Vaughns character in Wedding Crashers or decide to never acknowledge it happened at all, sex math is for you and you alone. Why? Because your sex life is your business. It’s whatever you feel comfortable with. As long as you are being safe, and you are comfortable with the decisions you make, you are an adult. You want to leave out that jerk that never called the next day? The one that never told you he really had a girlfriend? Then leave him out you shall. It’s not lying. It’s conveniently adding the numbers in a way to spare you heartache and discomfort.

What is your sex math formula? Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook16Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Sex Tagged in: Dating, relationship, Sex, sexual partners, single So the other night I had a conversation with a friend of mine I’m yannibmbr, obviously, and she’s fallingstarsncards and the chat went a little like this: fallingstarsncards 10:43 PM finally, you’re on! yannibmbr 10:43 PM sup fallingstarsncards 10:43 PM nothing. just watching tv yannibmbr 10:44 PM word! fallingstarsncards 10:44 PM i broke up with my bf (boyfriend).. did i tell you? yannibmbr 10:44 PM When did that happen? fallingstarsncards 10:45 PM um.. monday yannibmbr 10:46 PM Oh. 10:47 PM lay it out for me what happened? fallingstarsncards 10:48 PM well, i just told him that ive been unhappy for a while.. and ive been trying to bring it up over and over but he kept shutting me down 10:48 PM but its basically because we never ahve sex.. 10:48 PM and he smokes weed way too much.. 10:49 PM so i basically ahve been getting hundreds of apology texts from him.. saying everything you can imagine 10:50 PM and like.. i know i love him, and i care about him, but my gut feeling is that we are not going to work. the cycle will just start over again and ill be in this same position in another 3 months 10:50 PM i dunno.. i just needed to get it over with yannibmbr 10:51 PM good girl. fallingstarsncards 10:52 PM there is a man out there who deserves me, and who will treat me the way i want to be treated 10:52 PM he only had about 1/3 of those things yannibmbr 10:55 PM Good for you. You did what you needed to. fallingstarsncards 10:56 PM now all i need to do is go out and get drunk and make out with someone new 10:56 PM because or else ill start missing him and i CANNOT do that yannibmbr 10:56 PM best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, rumor has it… 😉 fallingstarsncards 10:57 PM ive heard that before 10:59 PM sounds about right yannibmbr 11:05 PM of course it does! fallingstarsncards 11:05 PM yes indeedy. 11:07 PM so i signed up on pof yannibmbr 11:07 PM Aha. fallingstarsncards 11:07 PM just so i could look around yannibmbr 11:07 PM You’ll find plenty on there. fallingstarsncards 11:07 PM same old idiots as before 11:07 PM no. yannibmbr 11:07 PM change area codes 11:08 PM zip codes 11:08 PM negativity begets negativity fallingstarsncards 11:08 PM i dont want to date someone who has kids.. or whatever 11:08 PM nah i dont want to date anyone who lives more than like.. 30 minutes away yannibmbr 11:09 PM So filter them out. What’s the real problem here>? fallingstarsncards 11:09 PM i dont want to drive that far.. and i cant deal with kidzzz 11:09 PM lol 11:10 PM i just wanna have fun and make out 11:10 PM is that too much to ask? yannibmbr 11:12 PM No. So why are you making it out to be? You haven’t even actually tried yet. 11:12 PM lol fallingstarsncards 11:12 PM i know. 11:13 PM what should i do? yannibmbr 11:14 PM Go out and be social. You can go to the bar, of course.

Or, hit your friends up and see if they know anybody. Just put yourself in a position to meet people. 11:14 PM You’ve got a great personality, so it shouldn’t be difficult, if anything it just takes time 11:14 PM Oh and don’t hit up guys with kids that live more than 30 minutes from you… =) fallingstarsncards 11:14 PM when i go out i always meet people 11:15 PM yeah ill be fine i think yannibmbr 11:15 PM Well, there you go fallingstarsncards 11:16 PM i just dont have that “go out and find someone to make out with” thing anymore yannibmbr 11:16 PM Well, if that’s your mission, to find someone to make out with then a few drinks will do the trick. fallingstarsncards 11:16 PM hahaha 11:17 PM its not reallly.. a mission. it sounds sort of sad when you say it yannibmbr 11:17 PM So what’s the problem? 11:18 PM Here’s your situation: You just broke up with your boyfriend. You want to get out there and meet someone new to fool around with because if you don’t you’ll start missing your ex. fallingstarsncards 11:19 PM exactly So what can we gather from this chat?  Well, the girl broke up with the boyfriend and wants to forget him asap.  It could be that she was really into this guy and I believe that she was…  in addition she grew discontent in the relationship.  She saw that he didn’t share her values.  I’m able to tell you that I’ve been playing hardball with my friend to break up with her boyfriend, because she was unhappy and saw no future with this guy, yet she did nothing about it. She would mope and be sad because she was with this guy that, in her mind, she HAD to be with.  Obviously, this is how I gave her some tough lovin’.  She came to her senses and made a decision not to settle.  Best for her.  Now she needs to move on.  My advice was pretty much “get under someone else” or go to a bar.

  I’m great with advice, I tell you.  Get drunk and then get laid.  Only if this whole Iran Nuclear fiasco could be solved in such ways. I know Hillary would pony up, but I digress. What are some suggestions you would give to my friend for getting out there and meeting someone new?  Should she wait?  If so, how long? What do YOU think??? Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides, Relationships Tagged in: Dating, observations, pursuit of love, Relationships This tasty morsel crossed my Nexus 7 tablet today: In what can be only described as a “pooh-skid move” on the part of everyone’s favorite search engine,  Google is Shutting down the Feedburner API service. At first, I didn’t really care.