How to Get Over Someone You See Everyday – Don’t Keep Yourself Busy
And then there were the stories about the “crazy ex-girlfriends.” Not the “ I just met her and she stalked me” kind of crazy, but more like “my sane and well-adjusted girlfriend of two years just flipped out” kind of crazy. Again, these guys had no idea their actions might have had some influence. There are lots of books out there saying how complicated relationships are and how men and women are so different. And while I think that information might be useful to fine-tune some relationship issues, I think the basics of relationships are much simpler. Women want to feel special, cared for, and secure. When we feel this way, we’re happy. We’re not annoying, we’re not jealous, and we don’t act crazy. And that’s the basis of my book.fling com It offers advice to both men and women about how to treat each other well. And it offers many, many stories of dating gone wrong. You can read a few chapters at http://amzn.com/145632411X. More info at http://ramarquis.com. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…
Share This Article Facebook7Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Advert, Date Ideas, Dating & Relationships, Featured Tagged in: Dating, Relationships People who share similar tastes in music and get matched on that? Um, that’s sorta brilliant. Just sayin’! Today I’m excited to be featuring an interview with Alex parish, of Tastebuds.fm. You see, Alex kinda had a brilliant idea. He wanted to create a niche dating site, but he wanted to do something that was different and meaningful. He thought that music would be a great way to bridget the two; and, having looked at the site, I must say he’s executed the idea very, very well. Consider this one more service to add to your dating tech toolbox. Enjoy Urban Dater: So, Alex, are you single? Alex, Tastebuds.fm: I’m not in a relationship at the moment – too many late nights working on the website I think!
Urban Dater: No, really. Are you single? Alex: Yes, really! 🙂 Urban Dater: How did you come up with this concept? Alex: Julian ( the other founder) and I first met while playing in the London (UK) based band Years of Rice and Salt. We were discussing the idea that sharing an interest, such as music, may be important to people when choosing potential partners. As musicians ourselves it’s something we find important in relationships we’ve had in the past, so we decided that a dating website based around sharing tastes in music might prove popular. We launched Tastebuds in June 2010 and it seems people have really taken to the idea as we’ve experienced rapid growth, so much to ensure that we’re now working on the site full-time. Urban Dater: The providers that are tied into your site, like Last.fm, how did you decide which ones to use and who was the most supportive of your project? Alex: Tastebuds is not created by, or affiliated to, Last.fm but we do use their publicly available API to import a user’s favourite music from their Last.fm profile. This makes it really easy to get started and quickly view your musical matches on Tastebuds. We’ve always been big fans of Last.fm, and as they’re so heavily adopted worldwide it made sense to integrate with their services from day one. We also use The Echonest (http://the.echonest.com/) who provide us with audio samples that we use on our profile pages, helping people discover new music on Tastebuds. The guys at Echonest are doing some fantastic work and have been very supportive of what we’re doing. We hope to work more closely with them in the foreseeable future. Tastebuds certainly isn’t a site just for music snobs but a lot of our members – often those who work in the creative industries – have said that they place a lot of importance on shared music taste in a relationship Urban Dater: What do you think a person’s musical tastes say about them?https://topadultreview.com/
Alex: It’s very difficult to make a judgement based on the music someone listens to. You may be surprised at how hard it can be to guess a member’s favorite music, or genre, just by looking at their profile pictures! Urban Dater: What music should I be listening to if I want to score with the hottest women/most popular women on your site? 😉 Alex: That’d be telling… 😉 In all honesty this is impossible to answer. The most popular performers on the site include Radiohead, The Beatles, Arcade Fire and The Smiths so searching for matches using any of these bands would give you an interesting selection of people. Urban Dater: Do you get annoyed when someone says “ I like all music”? Do YOU like all music?
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Alex: Only if they can’t give examples of what they’re into! I think it’s good to have a wide array of tastes, it keeps things interesting. Urban Dater: What advantage does your site have over the big dogs like Eharmony and match.com? Alex: I think the more specific dating sites certainly are a breath of fresh air in a market dominated by a few big players who prompt you to fill in a plethora of forms in attempt to provide psuedo-scientific matching. Tastebuds certainly isn’t a site just for music snobs but a lot of our members – often those who work in the creative industries – have said that they place a lot of importance on shared music taste in a relationship.
To these people Tastebuds, and similar sites, are a refreshing new option as many of them would never consider using traditional dating sites. Urban Dater: Do you see sites like yours becoming the future of online dating? Why or have you thought to? Alex: As meeting people online becomes more popular, and acceptable socially, the whole market will grow making room for all sorts of specialist dating sites. Urban Dater: Can someone who is a techno-novice really get value out of your site? I use last.fm religiously, but the person who doesn’t how can they still get the most out of your service? Alex: Definitely! You don’t have to be a Last.fm user to use the site – you can simply enter 3 of your favourite bands or performers and you’ll get to see matches instantly, without even having to sign up. Urban Dater: What’s the weirdest/most interesting thing you’ve noticed about Tastebuds.fm’s user base? Alex: Nothing comes to mind to be honest! We have a wide variety of people from all different backgrounds who seem to be getting on and getting together!
It’s early days but we’ve already had a couple of people email us to thanks us and let us know that they’ve found love on the site. We expect to hear more success stories as the site gains more members, and we’re looking forward to the first Tastebuds wedding – mostly to see what song they choose for their first dance! Urban Dater: What’s your site developed with? Alex: We developed Tastebuds using Ruby on Rails. We originally started development in PHP but found we could maintain the site and deploy changes much more quickly with Rails. Urban Dater: What are some features you have in the works that you plan to roll out later? Alex: We’re currently working on a number of new features for Tastebuds, including integrating concerts more deeply into the site, allowing our members to buy tickets and arrange dates at concerts. Final Notes: Cost: Free Ties in to a number of online music services Many users located the world over. Active user community.
a truly fresh take in the niche dating site space Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating Sites, Online Dating Tagged in: niche dating sites, Online Dating, tastebuds.fm I have a feeling that advice for women dating online is written by men. By single men who want to live in a world where every woman waves them in with a large flag that says, “Hey, we are open.” Do the authors of “be friendly, be sweet, market yourself well” advice actually know what’s out there for us? Have they ever come to a mailbox stuffed with dick pics? Have they waded through messages from men who can’t spell words longer than four letters? When an average woman complains that she’s “tried all these sites and found nothing,” she’s not complaining that she has actually found nothing. She’s complaining that what she’s found is completely and utterly unsuitable. A waste of time and effort. a losing ticket. So if you are that form of woman – with a profile on every dating site and nothing to show for it, though you’re reasonably attractive, smart and have a job – I will tell you what you are doing wrong. In word, your profile is a funnel. I bet it says things like, “Hi,” and “Looking to meet up with someone special” and is generally wreathed in smiles and bits of sunshine. What loser can resist a kick at that can? No cost to them, no harm, and a chance that you might put out, after all. Or at least look at their dick pic.
No, what your profile should actually do is weed out the undeserving, while ushering in the ones you are willing to give the time of day to. Make your profile not a funnel, but a filter. Pick a name that screams “if you failed high school, don’t apply.” For example, 3.1415926 for a dating site name is fab. Anybody who asks you why you’ve got numbers on your profile – tell them it’s your bank account number and never speak to them again. The man is too dumb to Google first and ask later, never mind recognize the digits on first sight. However, every person who sees that name and runs to you screaming, “Date me, date me,” is guaranteed to be at least an engineer. Pick an intense hobby if you haven’t got an intense hobby, consider getting one. Women who snowboard, fly planes and sail yachts have a far more vibrant dating life. However, even if you only start seriously biking, running marathons or playing tennis, mentioning these sports on your profile with kick off the guys who spend their week-ends hugging a pizza box in front of the TV.
Valentine’s Day. Oh F*ck.
Mission accomplished. Books are major shibboleths There are definitely books out there of the “sapienti sat” variety. If you happen to know the answer to “life, universe and everything” or believe that some people should be “disqualified from the human race for shoving,” use the advantage. The guy you’ll love to date will recognize these quotes. Or anything else literary that you adore – mention it. (All right, Dante’s “Inferno” in the original Italian might be a bit much, but who knows). Even if he hadn’t read it, he’ll know that in your corner, “ignorant” is not written on the welcome mat.
Point is, even if there’s only one man in the world who would share your hobby, recognize your quotes, and is exactly what you are looking for – that’s really all you need, no? So why waste time on all those who are so not it? Why? Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook13Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Women, Tips & Advice Tagged in: dating profiles, online dating profile advice How to Turn a First Encounter into a Success If you have always wondered how to grab the attention of a man, then look no further. Our handy guide will show you how to reel him in, and keep him interested! Men can be notoriously fickle creatures, so if you want a guy to notice you, there are five things you could do well to remember. When you are meeting up with a client for the first time, it always starts with a look, and then the rest is up to you. To find out more, read on. 1. The Look When making eye contact, try to convey some of your personality into that first glance. If you would like be seen as bubbly and approachable, then flash a bright smile at the object of your affections, followed by a fluttering of your eyelashes. If you are more the sultry temptress, then go for a smirk teamed with a long and lingering gaze. Mentally undress him with your eyes!
It’s surprisingly easy to get some of your own unique traits across in such a short period of time. 2. The Outfit Now that you have his attention, his eyes will be all over you. A classy, elegant outfit that renders something to the imagination is perfect for a smart city bar, while a t-shirt and skirt is perfect for a sojourn in the park. Let your style that is unique colour look, but don’t make it too quirky. You can never tell what men will and won’t like. Heels are usually a good place to start though, as they accentuate your legs and take any outfit into the next league. 3. The Walk As you walk over to meet your date, it is critical to keep him interested. Marilyn Monroe had her famous wiggle, supermodels have their commanding struts. Let your confidence as a high-class escort show, and put one foot in front of the other with pride.
Let your hips sway and stand up straight, no slouching or shuffling allowed! 4. The Body Language When you and your client are finally standing face to face, he should be wrapped totally around your little finger if you have followed the above advice! Let him know just how pleased you are to be here with him by letting yourself relax slightly, letting him know that you aren’t tense or thinking about running away. With the right body language, he won’t be able to keep his eyes off of you at all. No crossed arms, yawning or lack of eye contact. Those definitely hint at a less than thrilled mood. 5. The Attitude After enchanting him with your looks, it’s time to wow him all over again with your personality. Be attentive, enthusiastic and smile.
There’s no better ice breaker than laughter, so don’t be afraid to use a bit of humour. He’ll see you as a girl that he can have a good time with in every sense of the word. Now that you’ve done all of the above, your date should really be putty in your hands. No matter whether this is a professional or personal encounter, knowing how to get a man to notice you will serve you well over many dates to come. Just don’t try it out on every person, you’ll have too many admirers to keep track of! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: For Women Tagged in: getting the man, How to pull, on the prowl I was having a conversation with Zoe, of WinkWinkWink.com fame, and she noted that I was one of the few male bloggers not to really speak about sex directly on my blog. That got me to thinking; why hadn’t I written on the topic of sex? It’s not that I don’t have a lot to say on the topic, however, it’s so well covered by my male contemporaries, Mike Masters, Jeffrey Platts and the like. If you want to read something about the male point of view regarding sex go read them. I’ll wait for you.Okay. Good! You’re back.
First off do any of you really care what think about sex? I’d like to think you never, but I know better. Running this blog has made me revisit my thoughts on the subject frequently. Perhaps it’s better if I just tell you how the young Urban Dater really got thrust (no pun intended… okay, maybe it was after all) into the exciting world of sexual goodness. I’ve mentioned before that I grew up around many strong female personalities, most of whom were type A, alpha personalities. Needless to say, from a young age, I was brought up to have a healthy respect of women. I learned to treat them no different than boys. That means I pretty much never let a girl win at anything; forget about it!
Now, this wasn’t such a bad thing as, even today, I feel that if a woman wants to compete in contests or social venues typically reserved or dominated by men then I’m all for it. Treat her as an equal and discover if said woman will sink or swim. This line of thinking, while great and progressive, really f#cked with me as I begin to realize that I liked girls… A lot. First of all, I had no first clue of what I should do. After treating girls similar as I treated Tommy Howell down street for years and years, it was becoming more and more difficult to stop staring at the newly noticed breasts of my friend, Carla, from the block. I had sex on the brain and bad all throughout high school. Yet I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I mean, I had lot of things working against me. First off, my sense of humor, while I’d like to think was witty, came off as creepy and disturbed (editor’s note: His humor is still creepy and disturbed). The art of cutting and dry humor hadn’t quite developed yet. Think of Steven Wright’s jokes but told by Crispin Glover; I was a special kind of creepy. Oh and not mention I was saddled with pretty much the most awful haircut at my high school. Even as I looked through the yearbook no one else had this type of haircut. It wasn’t even close to what was in style at that time… No, I was the only guy that had a hair cut from a kid that looked like Ronald McDonald’s wife’s failed abortion. I imagine this last phrase will get me some booes. What were you expecting?
Jack, from Brooklyn, were you? Moving on… Graduating high school I managed to kiss all of two girls ( not my mother) and that wasn’t exactly getting to first base, kids. You see, the kisses were so awful and awkward that, as opposed to making it to first base, I had some how manged to lay down a bunt straight to the pitcher, fall on my ass and break my big toe somewhere between my sex starved teen years and the holy grail that is known as first base. My problem? Other than looking like an asshole with a jerk of a haircut? I put pussy on a pedestal. Plain and simple. I could hear choirs and birds sing whenever I saw a girl I liked… It was that bad! I’ll spare you all and just fast forward to twenty two.
That’s when it happened. I bloomed. I took my vCard and lit that effing thing on fire and ran it over a few times. I lost my virginity to a girl that I’d been friends with for years, her name was Jill. To be honest, this girl was a HUGE cock tease. This girl would flirt with me, cause extremely tense moments by pretty much doing things that you might find on display at the seedy strip joint where your mama works. I’m kidding, your mom is cool. Jill knew I wanted her, she flirted with me, teased me. She had a power over me and it turned her on. What I didn’t quite understand until much later was that she didn’t want to be in control. She wanted to be taken. I learned a valuable lesson here. Women, no matter how clueless don’t want to GIVE anything to you, not even an STD ( or is it STI now?). No; women want to be taken. I shouldn’t say that all women feel this way, but, at least, all the women I know, want to be courted and to be taken; they don’t want to be in control. They want you to take the baton and beat them with it… over and over.
Without realizing it, one day I did just that. Jill was mid sentence when I grabbed her by the back of her head and pulled her face to mine, her mouth to mine and I kissed her; at first I kissed her hard, as though, years of pent up sexual frustration was erupting through this kiss; it was passionate and feral. Then I kissed her softly, through that kiss I let Jill know what I was going to do to her later and how I felt about her, our mouths locked. Through that kiss, Jill knew that I was going to fuck her with a reckless fervor and that I loved her, painfully so… I had no clue what was to await me later that night… I didn’t go in with guns blazing, Jill took control and did as she pleased. I was scared, I was a mess; I was no match for this sexually-wisened maven. She thrust herself atop me, did as she willed, dug her nails deep in my chest, gasped and groaned; to be a fly on the wall and see how scared I was as this woman slammed herself repeatedly into me… over and over. My lone attempt to take control was thwarted. She knew what she wanted from me and how she wanted it; she kept that throbbing soldier in formation, at attention.
In short, she didn’t want me to fuck it up… She was warm, then suddenly cold as she gasped and squealed and collapsed on top of me, heaving with each breath, she was so wet. I didn’t know what the hell had happened, but I was pretty sure I was a boy forget about.